


Lament

by awindoffreedom



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games)
Genre: Depression, Sad, sad thoughts, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:02:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22536712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awindoffreedom/pseuds/awindoffreedom
Summary: noun: lament; plural noun: laments1. a passionate expression of grief or sorrow.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Lament

He knew he wasn't the best, the smartest or the most though-out person when it came to plans, but it came to protecting the things he loved, he'd never back down from saving the day. Never. He was confident within himself for this skill, for this fact about him. But what he was not confident about was his mental health. It had been slipping really bad as of late and he couldn't see a way out of it. All those nights where he'd lay in bed and wondered if he was ever good enough deep down, or if anybody actually cared about him as a person, not just as a hero?

After all, it was his fault how the world had been thrown into chaos on a number of occasions. The Deady Six almost had killed the planet and his friends, Eggman nearly took over the planet several times because of his reckless actions, and not to mention how Metal Sonic almost brought down the Egg Fleets after transforming into a large robotic monster.

Maybe, just maybe, the world would've been a better place had he not been born? Perhaps Eggman wouldn't have been causing destruction, or how his friends were hurt time and time again in the past? Life might have just been better if it hadn't had been for him.

So many nights he had spent sobbing himself to sleep with the dark thoughts in his head. So many nights he closed himself in his own home to protect his loved ones from his mistakes. So many nights Sonic had faked being sick, just to avoid speaking to anybody who wished to visit him. He just didn't have the strength any more to cope with being strong all the time. He was exhausted from having to paint a smile on his face to appear 'fine' and content. Whenever they'd leave, he'd always break down from hiding it from them, knowing they worry enough about him as it was. They didn't need to go through any more stress than they did already.

He missed the warmth of the sun. He missed being able to go to the beach, to be out in the sun with his friends. He missed the good times they'd all have when they weren't busy. He missed being young and being free and innocent from the trauma of life. He no longer felt like he was needed, that somebody else could easily step up from him. Often, he'd make a joke to Tails about him being the hero instead and how good he'd be, only for the fox to blush and chuckle, replying how he'd never be good as Sonic. Yet, Sonic disagreed with him completely. The hedgehog felt that he was past his date, no longer anybody important.

He didn't care about running so much like he used to. Shadow had challenged him to a race the other day, smirk on his muzzle and taunting the blue hedgehog playfully like old times to get him to join in, but Sonic had made some up excuse about him being sick. Shadow blinked and didn't expect this response and before he could ask what was wrong, Sonic had already waved goodbye. It left Shadow somewhat concerned about his behaviour. It wasn't like Sonic to turn down a race like that. While Shadow had said nothing, he thought something was amiss, that maybe the hedgehog was faking his sickness for some unknown reason.

Ever since then, Sonic had been trying to avoid Shadow to not get asked anything about his excuse. Besides, Shadow never really liked him, right? Why would Shadow miss him? Why would he care what happened to him? Shadow always made his feelings clear and it was enough for Sonic to believe not even Shadow would miss him if anything did happen to him.

All of his friends had their own lives and were pretty successful; Tails had his own workshop, Knuckles was still on Angel Island with the Master Emerald, Amy had opened up a florist with Cream as her assistant, Rouge was doing well with her night bar and the Chaotix were getting more contracts than ever before after their business had been advertised and were fetching excellent scores. More and more people were turning to them for help, much to their enjoyment.

So, this left Sonic and he hadn't changed at all. His health had been getting worse as time went by, without any means to seek treatment or help as he believed he didn't need it, how he was supposed to be the strong one. He always lied about his emotions to avoid getting in their way. How they never knew that he was beginning to suffer from depression, how he was silently calling out for help but got no answers.

Laying in bed, the hedgehog recalled all the adventures everybody used to have with him. He missed being young. He missed when it was all fun and games, all those times where he'd tease Shadow and Knuckles, where he'd roll his eyes at Tails' conventions but secretly loved them, how he used to protect Amy and Cream. And everything else that used to happen.

But now? He was alone, and he couldn't see a way out of his darkness. Sonic was beginning to give up on happiness itself. How could he help anybody if he couldn't even help himself? No, it was for the best that he stayed away from everybody. They were happy, they didn't need his sadness to ruin them.

"Not everybody gets happy endings after all..."

He silently whispers to him as he turns off his mobile, turning over to allow the tears to flow as they pleased. He truly believed he didn't deserve to be happy. Maybe he didn't deserve a happy ending.

And you know what? Sonic couldn't agree more.

**Author's Note:**

> Kind of venting because depression has been bad and been wanting to write so here we go, sorry it's depressing


End file.
